The Daunting Prospect of 24/7 Care

Dear Nicholas, When Husband Bob was scheduled to leave rehab just before Christmas, I thought it meant that his health–mobility mainly–was greatly improved. Not so. Turns out people are sent home when they have gone a few days, as Bob had done, without improvement. I spoke a bit sharply to the physical therapist when she told me this at the end of his stay — sure wish we’d known from the start. She also said he’d need 24/7 care at home for a while. For one thing, when he walks, he’s still at risk of falling.

24/7? Seriously?

I had my doubts about managing this. I’m one who is bothered by teaching a class because I don’t feel free to walk out at any moment. I always like to have the option.

Now I’ve been at it almost six weeks and, to my amazement, it has been going fine. I hired a helper (harder than it sounds) to be here two afternoons a week  and discovered how many things one can get done when time is limited to noon to five.

A Complete Novice

Not having children, there’s a lot I never learned about taking care of someone other than myself. But I’ve picked up a few skills.  And Bob is such a good sport about all of this.

I find I’m using care-giving activities as an excuse to slow down on a lot of my own work. Oddly, this doesn’t bother me. Neither does the fact that Bob has for the time being taken over my downstairs  home office turning it into a cramped bedroom until he’s able to use the stairs again.  I’d imagined I was going to be unhappy about losing my office–but, no.

Most Important

As I wrote in December, (To Will One Thing….), things like that don’t matter. The main thing is Bob getting his strength and balance back.

I find I’m not as scared of making a mistake as I was when I first started sorting his meds. Fear of mistakes being a big problem for me, this is a welcome surprise. See November post: I Am A Dangerously Imperfect and Frightened Caregiver.

And then being at this stage of life gives me a perspective I likely wouldn’t have had earlier, I underlined a sentence in a wonderful novel I was reading a couple of nights ago: “we are both of us too old now to fear the great changes of life.” (The Signature of All Things, Elizabeth Gilbert) We’re 76 and one day away from 83.

Maybe the reason I feel fine about my part of all this is because I don’t think we’ll have this 24/7 schedule forever. I know there are many family caregivers who do this  for years and years with no end in sight. Those are generous and sturdy souls.

But Bob is getting stronger and we’re happy hanging out here together day and night, which is such a good and somewhat surprising way for this to turn out.

Peggy

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: 24/7 care at home, 24/7 schedule, care-giving activities, Eiizabeth Gilbert, family caregivers, left rehab, risk of falling, Signature of All Things, taking care of someone, turned out of rehab, use the stairs