Dear Nicholas, Something about turning 73 Saturday made me sleepy. Naps are not my usual form of birthdaying, but this time it was irresistible. Delicious sofa sleep most of the afternoon in the company of sleepy dogs. And then…! The Age of Change Last time I wrote I was depressed about moving out of my […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I’m depressed. Have been most of the time since Christmas night. Writing usually helps, so here goes… Why I am so low is not clear, as is so often the case with depression. Christmas with my brothers and their families was wonderful. When we got home I began to sink. Bob’s theory about […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I’m in the midst of moving my office–my writing nest–after sixteen years of working in desk-to-desk chatting distance of my dear friend writer Carrie Knowles. This place has been a second home for me.   We’re moving out because the building is sold. I’m leaving this nest behind–empty until the violin maker moves […] Read More

  Dear Nicholas, I feel like an air traffic controller (with limited control) with all that’s happening just lately. Given our complicated times, I’m probably not the only one. But everybody’s list of flying objects is different. Here’s my list of just a few weeks: *New book under contract! *Good lab results on husband’s cancer […] Read More

Dear Nicholas,  With so many of my loved ones scattering in every direction and doing new things, I feel a strong need to do something new myself. I’m seeking a new pursuit, a new interest or activity that I’ll feel passionate about. It needs to be fun, not a laborious self-improvement. Not something I “should” do, […] Read More

Dear Therapist Nicholas, I’m currently submerged in a 900+ page book that has reminded me, with the force of a large ocean wave, of the practice of noticing. It’s not much of an exaggeration to say that noticing is nearly everything. Paying attention is the practice that (ideally) precedes decision and action. It’s a requirement […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I’ve never been to Afghanistan, but have long felt a bit of my heart is there. This was true ever since I heard at lunch one day years ago that only 15% of Afghani women could read. The Taliban, now in charge in the country, placed multiple bars to girls’ education during their […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, Yesterday morning Bob rang the end-of-radiation bell in the hospital hall. Ringing three times is a tradition–now somewhat controversial–for hitting a milestone in cancer treatment. It wasn’t a wildly exuberant moment. We were late finding out about this ceremony and so hadn’t been imagining it. Also, we’re both a little tired.   The […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I’ve stumbled onto a method that’s helping. I’ve cut in half the amount of time I torment myself daily over old sins, blunders, and regrettable moments. I didn’t think it was possible: less beating up on myself. I’d come to think some self-berating was my fate. Wrong Thoughts I’ve understood for years now […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I’ve often thought it would be easier to have ordinary straight-up bouts of  anxiety now and then–emotion undisguised– than to deal, as I do, with the long-running twisting anxiety-evasion strategies of OCD.  I rethought this stance on deflected emotion recently while reading the gorgeously well-written and quite moving memoir by Irish actor Gabriel […] Read More