To throw off a personal misery, a helpful question is: what am I getting out of it? What benefit do I get from the problem that might prevent a cure? Silver linings can be a trap, a real deterrent to making the full effort to solve the problem. I do know this, my friend. And […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I usually think that we humans are as much alike as we are different from each other, no matter the race or gender, orientation or education–or even political party. But there are individuals and groups that cast this in doubt: one small but vivid example being the people who surf giant waves, the […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, It’s not just me. Lots of folks have this petty but demoralizing complaint: marathon multi-hour sessions on the  phone or online trying to do business with outfits that are not human scale. The Unscalable Electronic Wall My heart sinks whenever I realize I need to make some change in our phones, wifi, electricity, […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I realized recently that my mostly-wonderful genetic inheritance from my mother (including rather sturdy physical health) also includes a quality of being ever-so-slightly reckless. I now need to tame that particular gene. I don’t mean that she was racing motorcycles or rock climbing without ropes. Instead, she drove fast and ran when walking […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, Bob and I got home late Tuesday afternoon from a long-planned long-delayed trip and now, as I write, it’s Friday and I still haven’t gotten back to work. I feel like a terrible slacker. My reliable guilt reflex has kicked in. And the guilt itself feels terribly self-indulgent when refugees are on the […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, For as long as I can remember, I’ve been guarding against making the giant mistake that will ruin everything, certainly the rest of my life and also the lives of others, likely including their children and grandchildren. It’s not a particular mistake. It could be anything: accidentally committing a terrible crime or burning […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I just made a startling discovery after a couple of rather hard months. I somehow received the wrong medication a while back. (I’m writing you about this though you aren’t a prescriber these days. Just want to talk about it.) I thought maybe I was simply sad because several difficult things are going […] Read More

Thought I was a pacifist until Russia attacked Ukraine. Doing some serious rethinking. Go Ukraine! Read More

Dear Nicholas, There was a time in my life, near fifty years ago, when my friends and I would inquire of each other about the health of our cars. “How’s it holding up?” we’d say. These days I hear a lot more from friends about knees. Lots of replacements, knees that get stopped for inspection […] Read More

Hi, Nicholas, I know that turning eighty sounds like a trifle to anyone who has already done it, but for those of us who haven’t, it’s a significant figure. A Big Birthday. A Grand Occasion. Husband Bob is pleased to arrive on Friday February 4, (tomorrow) at this lofty point in life, then to venture […] Read More