Slide background

Cobalt Blue: A Novel

A novel for courageous readers and seekers, COBALT BLUE is a turbulent, gorgeous ride into sacred sex..

Order Now

Dying Into The River: Email to My Therapist

May 17, 2017
Nicholas, Recent brushes with death have been on my mind — and now, by chance, a story of mine has just been published that takes me back to when I saw the shocking reality of death on the Ganges, the dying into the river. I was 41 years old at the time (in 1991) and […] Read More

Feeling Overwhelmed: Email to My Therapist

May 12, 2017
Dear Nicholas, The “feeling overwhelmed” situation cropped up twice in the last week. I made it worse by reminding myself that I have it so easy compared to millions of other people. Other people, for example, take care of a spouse with ALS while also raising children and holding a demanding low-wage job. That’s not […] Read More

Death of a Friend–It’s Complicated. Email to My Therapist

May 2, 2017
Dear Therapist Nicholas, I’m going to go ahead and write this while it’s very fresh. Our old friend Robert Goforth died three weeks ago. The memorial service yesterday was a sunshiny party outdoors in the country with live bluegrass, high-powered margaritas, and a Mexican buffet. I felt okay enough while we were there–it was such […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: What’s Up With Mashed Potato Mountains and Green Moss ?

April 25, 2017
Dear Nicholas, Ever since I saw Close Encounters of the Third Kind, where characters get obsessed with reproducing the shape of a particular mountain–including making a mashed potato mountain– I’ve thought about such strong seemingly nonsensical urges. With me, it seems to be green moss. I’ve recently noticed that I shoot pictures of green moss […] Read More

Spring Cleansing, Religiously: Email to My Therapist

April 18, 2017
Hi, Nicholas — I hope you had a good Easter. Mine was like none I ever had before. I cleaned out my refrigerator. This spring cleansing was a most reverent, mindful, and satisfying Easter. I’m serious. Mid-morning Sunday, I realized it was important — it was crucial — for me to clean out the fridge […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: Tax Anxiety

April 11, 2017
Nicholas — I’ve happily discovered I’m not the only person who gets nervous at tax time. Tax anxiety turns out to be a highly Google-able term. Lots of stories have heads like: “Survey: Young People Have Tax Anxiety” and “The Word Entrepreneurs Dread Most: Taxes” and “Tax time anxiety–Anxiety Control Center.” These articles aren’t primarily about […] Read More

To My Young Friend Peggy: From Author Dan Wakefield

April 1, 2017
A reaction to my recent post, The Touchy Subject of Getting Old and Possibly Dying, comes from Dan Wakefield who turns 85 next month. Dan is a dear friend and the author of best-selling novels Going All The Way and Starting Over, both made into feature films. He created the NBC prime time TV series James at 15  […] Read More

The Touchy Matter of Getting Old and Possibly Dying

March 25, 2017
Dear Therapist Nicholas, I seem to have reached The Age of Others Keeling Over. People keep getting old, falling ill, some actually dying. This sort of thing has happened before, but back then it was an aberration, cases of dying too young. Now I’m 68, healthy, and still blessed with an adolescent sense of  immortality that I hope to keep […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: The Wackiness of Emotions

March 21, 2017
Nicholas — I  wish emotions were more predictable. More logical. More clearly based on cause and effect. I don’t think that’s unreasonable of me. But wackiness seems to be the way. Feelings sometimes seem so out of sync with what’s going on.  Melancholy/irritability on a beautiful carefree day (was my unconscious processing the need to deal pretty […] Read More

The Long Eventful Life of a Serenely High-Spirited Handsome Dog

March 15, 2017
Our Kaya has left us. Would have been thirteen on Saturday. I doubt if he thought of himself as a majestic handsome dog. Sometimes he thought of himself as a lapdog, in spite of weighing roughly the same as I do. He was Bob’s dog, not mine, Bob being the more nurturing of us, the more […] Read More