Air ambulance arriving as we are leaving just before dawn Dear Nicholas, My husband Bob has had three ER trips in the last three months. One lasted into the fourth day and resulted in a pacemaker. The most recent–and dramatic–gave me a bad scare. This one included an ambulance, lights flashing, at our door. The […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I learned this morning that my friend Dan has died. I’ve felt close to him since about 1985, but we have never lived in the same state. The distance has never seemed to matter. When a distant friend dies, it’s still the loss of a friend. The Difference But the fact is hard […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, Sunday night, still in my grubby gardening clothes from the afternoon, I was parked alone in front of the TV watching the glamour and who-are-you-wearing of the Oscars, when suddenly I experienced an eruption of joy. An explosion of delight! Such surprising joy! I’m one who likes the Oscars (I know there are […] Read More

Dear Nicholas,  Beloved husband Bob Dick just had a birthday and is now eighty-two and a day. Being seven years younger than he is keeps me thinking I’m pretty young. But the numbers are getting increasingly impressive for both of us. Some years ago, when I was maybe forty or fifty, we were invited to […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I’ve been pondering this and I have to say that I don’t know what should be done about immigration, about peace in the Middle East (other than a ceasefire and release of all hostages), about the increased cost of living, about several court cases and much much more. I do have emphatic opinions […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I know 75 may not seem old to someone who is, say, 91. Nonetheless, youth that I am, I do think this birthday today should be of resounding importance in my life. It’s three-quarters of a century, after all. But it doesn’t feel like a big deal. Is Turning 75 Any Different? I […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I’m wondering if having a ferocious cough this week is why I’m having trouble getting myself to do any of the things that need doing. Does coughing kill motivation and energy and focus? Or is my lethargy a case of post-holiday mental exhaustion? The last time I had a cough this aggravating it […] Read More

  Dear Nicholas, For many of us vain folks who check our reflections in store windows, technology has a new way to “find one’s self.” And the self it finds can  be a very flattering image indeed.  AI delivers flattery. An encouraging word The vain self-absorbed writer (or anyone who has been widely written about) […] Read More

Dear Therapist Nicholas, I first wrote this six years ago when I was merely 68. It began: I seem to have reached The Age of Others Keeling Over. People keep getting old, falling ill, some actually dying. This sort of thing has happened before, but back then it was an aberration, cases of dying too […] Read More

Dear Nicholas,  Seems to be a pivotal time here. Probably so for a lot of people. Here’s what’s going on with me: *Husband Bob retiring after more than 50 years as a psychologist in private practice. Yesterday was his last day with Chapel Hill patients. He has so loved doing this work. Quite a dramatic […] Read More